What Happens When You Finally Find the Strength to Change?

Thank you for clicking in, to give you context all give a little story then what i thought about all this.

…….Recently, I had a moment that shook me to my core. It was a wake-up call that I didn’t expect, but it was much needed. I’d been stuck in a cycle of bad habits, reacting without thinking, and letting my words hurt the person I love most—my husband. It got so bad that he broke down and stopped talking to me for three days. Imagine that. Three whole days of silence. And the worst part? I didn’t even apologize until the second day.

On the third day, in my arrogance, I asked him, “When are you going to stop being mad at me?” I didn’t realize how much damage I was causing with my words and behavior until he finally opened up. He had been bottling up so much hurt, and hearing him talk made me feel so ashamed. For a moment, I saw clearly how my actions were destroying our safe space, the place where we both should feel secure.

That night, after he left for guitar practice, I broke down. I cried, blamed myself, blamed my past, my childhood, and all the excuses I could think of. But then, something shifted. I realized I had been doing this for too long—using my difficult past as a shield, as an excuse to not grow, to not change. I’ve always crawled back to that “safety” of self-pity, believing that because I didn’t grow up in the best environment, I had no control over my present. But that’s not true.

That day, after the tears, I made a decision. I wasn’t going to pamper this issue anymore. Yes, my past is part of my story, but it doesn’t define who I am or who I can become. I decided to stop the cycle of self-blame and start focusing on how I can be better. As someone who reads and writes a lot, I knew there were materials out there that could help me, but the key wasn’t just in reading—it was in digging deeper, applying what I learned, and being consistent.

I realized something important: everything we need to change is already inside us. We just need to dig deeper and in the right way. It’s like asking God for courage. He won’t hand you courage wrapped in a bow. Instead, He’ll put you in situations where you have to be courageous. It’s up to you to apply what you learn and become stronger.

This situation taught me that change isn’t about waiting for some magical moment when everything clicks. It’s about deciding to take action, to stop making excuses, and to face the uncomfortable truth about ourselves. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s painful. But if we don’t, we risk losing the very things that matter most to us.

So, to anyone who’s struggling with habits or behaviors that are hurting their relationships or their peace of mind, remember this: the power to change is already inside you. You just need to dig deeper, be willing to learn, and apply what you discover. No more excuses. No more self-pity. The time to grow is now.

Cheers 😊